where your fear ends, your power begins....

Our thoughts alone are what limit us in life, because what we think for long enough is what we start to believe, and what we believe is what we perceive. This has nothing to do with reality. What would happen if you suddenly see that the world you have been perceiving is an hallucnation of your mind? And that the way you perceived this hallucination depended upon what you think and believe.
People are trapped inside their own little made up world of pain, and most are more than content to stay in it. At least it is familiar and they know well how to cope with it. People hurt each other, insult each other because they are in so much pain. Someone insults you, so you insult him back. Or you take the offensive. Each time you are giving your power away by buying into these little games, that are designed to make you learn. Each situation we are confronted with presents us with an enormous gift, a potenial, an opportunity for growth and enlightenment. Most people squander almost every gift they encounter until they die, so they come back. Again and again and again….this is all getting quite boring, mankind is reaching maturity, so why don’t we all just get with it and grow up?

This is not about turning the other cheek but about learning and growing up. What you do with each situation that you are presented with determines your growth, and if you act in love it also determines the growth of another. Falling into the trap of misery is all too easy and perpetuating it is even easier. Rising above it is the purpose of life. Onwards and upwards out of the darkness into the light.

You do not need to be saved from anything but your lower self or ego. There is no one who will come down from a cloud to save you or covert you or let you ascend or whatever nonsense. You are your only saviour. You cannot shove that responsibility to another. You are created like the creator himself, perfect, whole and complete. Therefore you have the power to co create. There is no misery in the world save by choice and God is responsible for none of it. He does not allow bad things to happen. We have holy and most scared free will, and so we create or miscreate by choice. There is no use in pointing fingers accusingly, even if this is at God. We were created perfect and divine, should God, eventhough he gave us love and free will, intervene in any way, he is stating clearly to existence that we are not his creation, and then surely all is lost. Our divine task is to understand this, and by the power manifested in us, co create as he created us. We are perfect and we are holy and divine and he knows this and has full and complete trust in this and his creations. Should he intervene in any way that opposes any of his laws, he would be grossly contradicting this, and not only that all souls in existence would be in danger. Our loving father in his wisdom has given us free will, let those who have ears hear and let those who have eyes see.

That which you fear, that which you are trying to avoid you will certainly attract in your life. You cannot run away from issues or problems thinking that you might solve them if only you lived in france, or if only you got a promotion, or if only you lost 10 kg or if only if only. Procrastination is one of the favourite tools of the ego. You are running from the things that you have projected. You look but you do not see. You listen but you do not hear. Life is lived in a daze, a sleepy hallucination. How easy hallucinations dissapear when they are recognized for what they are. How easy we can awaken from a bad dream, when the light is switched on.

There is no reason why anyone should be in pain and misery, except by choice. Undoing of fear is the cure for all states of misery. Consciously deciding on undoing is half the battle won already. Every person has a complete deep, into the very depths of the soul passion. Find out what yours is, and by God don’t let anyone or anything, including yourself, stop your from achieving it. That is the very purpose of your life!!! We have been intentionally duped into believing how stupid, worthless and useless we are, its much easier to manage us this way. Know this the biggest lie that was ever perpetrated upon mankind, and then move beyond it. Every single soul in existence has the power to live the life of their dreams, to co create their life and to become spiritually enlightened. The only thing that stands in the way is that we believe and think that we cannot do this.
There are only two possible purposes in life. Love or fear. Sin or holiness. Either or. Whichever one you chose, will determine what you see. By projecting thoughts from within your mind, you create that which you perceive. What you perceive bears witness to your state of mind. Anything perceived in fear has no meaning at all. The world you perceive bears witness to how much joy - which is nothing but unconditional love, you have allowed yourself to see in yourself. Judgment and fear always lead to false perception, but these arise from your mind, in which you are also able to heal them.

Think a bit about all the nonsense and rubbish you do in your life, meaningless, senseless crap. Over and over. You do these things without even thinking about them, automatically you light a cigarette, switch on the TV, open a beer, gossip…think about what you do not want. Wholly unaware of real life and its laws and workings you exist from cradle to death. Your mind and body are hardly ever at peace, your entire being is dis eased and ill, you vegetate. Then you call this technology, an advanced civilization…um am I missing something here?

You have no idea who you are or how or why you are here, nor where you are going or how and why it is that you exist. You work with meaningless things each day, doing, thinking and feeling a load of rubbish, and then you wonder why it is that you only live 80 years and that in a constant state of dis ease. The easiest way out of this dilemna is self mastery, and that is accomplished by guarding ceaselessly and scrupoulously your thoughts. Constantly watching what you feel, say, think and do, and correcting any erroneous act as soon as it happens. Your mind will wander. A thousand billion times each day it will wander. Dissipate. Fragment. This is completely natural. It is your ego fighting for its very life. This book is an appeal for you to wake up and step up and claim your birthright. Living in pain, lack and misery was never intended to be your way of life. You do that by choice. Dis ease is your way of stating that you are able to be hurt. It is your way of saying thought is able to do me harm. Descartes said- I think, therefore I am. I say, you think incorrectly therefore you are not, what you truly are. Thought can be undone, beliefs changed. But the mind must heal, and it must be unconditioned.

the fouth kind

I forgive....

I don't want to waste my precious life in the discomfort caused by anger or hurt so I will decide to feel differently right this instant. Instead of blaming you for hurting me, I ask myself what have I learnt from this? In which way have I made this situation a gift, how have I turned this around and enabled us both to heal and grow from it? I am able to forgive myself, forgive others, forgive life, and forgive God.I know how it hurts when people don't forgive me. I do not want to hurt other people by my actions so I will perceive the problem in a way that I can either deal with it or let it go. Life is filled with incredible beauty and wonder and I am missing these experiences if I am stuck in the remembrance of old hurts or disappointments. I forgive myself for getting sidetracked. People do the best they can and if they err the best way to help them is by offering understanding. The first step in this process is to forgive whatever constituted the specific offense. I now release past hurts and upsets and mistakes. I release all need for revenge, as I now fully understand that what I do to you, I do to myself. I see that resentment and bitterness caused by unforgiveness will make me sick eventually. Everyone, including myself operates primarily out of self-interest. I must expect that some times I, in my self-interest, will be annoyed by some one else's expression of their self-interest. I ask myself in which way am I responsible fro what I am blaming you for? How have I done the exact same thing to others? Why have I attracted and manifested this hurt in my life? If I can understand that this is an ordinary part of life, what is there to be upset about? If I understand that self-interest is my guiding principle, how can I not offer forgiveness to everyone, including myself for behaving that way? I accept responsibility for my life. I acknowledge that everyone is doing the very best with the knowledge and insight that they have. I now wish to have a more loving and healing relationship with myself and others. I now allow myself to forgive and to move into my natural inheritance, that is a state of being filled with love, joy and light!
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awareness and consciousness

No one is responsible for your life but you, your health, wealth, happiness, joy and peace depend only on you, and that is a fact! People miscreate their life because they are unaware of how it works. This is not taught to us in schools. Your thoughts and feelings create your life. You are what you think, and your thoughts become your life. Look up to the heavens and cast your judgement, it is to no avail, you are the soul author of your life, you cannot blame anything or anyone for the situation you find yourself in. You are fast fast fast asleep, a dreamer, unaware of lifes true workings. Moping and whining, you complain that its either this or that way. You create your experience of life by default and neglect. Thoughts and feelings instantly attract their likeness, and so you are continuously creating more of what you do not want.

Misery in life is due to you not knowing and acting harmoniously upon what you want. Thought goes one way and action another, and this produces disharmony, disease and fear.You go on living completely inattentive to what is going on around you, wholly unaware of what is going on in you. What you focus on, what you turn your attention to, is what you will experience in life. What do we mostly give our attention to? The media, newspapers, TV…small wonder then… attention is nothing but awareness.

Attention is consciousness, being mindful of your being. Enlightenment means that you are a master of your attention and focus. You have a choice about what you would like to give your attention to. Chose wisely!

Be aware! Be aware of what goes on around you and in you, and why.

Wikipedia defines awareness as-
Awareness is the state or ability to perceive, to feel, or to be conscious of events, objects or sensory patterns. In this level of consciousness, sense data can be confirmed by an observer without necessarily implying understanding. More broadly, it is the state or quality of being aware of something. In biological psychology, awareness is defined as a human's or an animal's perception and cognitive reaction to a condition or event. Awareness may be focused on an internal state, such as a visceral feeling, or on external events by way of sensory perception. Awareness provides the raw material from which animals develop qualia, or subjective ideas about their experience.Also used to distinguish sensory perception is the word "awarement." "Awarement" is the established form of awareness. Once one has accomplished their sense of awareness they have come to terms with awarement.


Awarness and unconditional love are exactly the same. You cannot separate one from the other. Doing means the ego is at work, doing always has consequeneces, and they are mostly unaware. Being, however means pure awareness. Consciousness, watchfulness, awareness. Awareness means consciousness without thought, interpretation or analysation. Just pure beingness. I am that I am. Awareness has no consequences for it is pure, wholly fearless and egoless. Awareness is your return to unity and wholeness. The only way of attaining awareness, is being mindful and watchful of yourself. Be watchful of your thoughts, your words, your feelings, you actions. Watch yourself, be mindful of what you do and how you do it. Be aware!!!!

The more you cultivate this deep watchfulness of your thoughts and feelings, the deeper your awareness becomes. In such contemplation you will eventually reach a stage of beingness, no mind… just total awareness. The thick mist that has veiled your sight is suddenly lifted as you are simply who you are. This state of beingness of no mind, of pure consciousness is spiritual enlightenment. Now you perceive the worlds mysteries, as you are aware, totally present in the now.

A master is not a man of concentration, he is a man of awareness. He has not been trying to narrow down his consciousness; on the contrary, he has been trying to drop all barriers so that he becomes totally available to existence.Existence is simultaneous. This awareness is nothing but silence. The aim is in cultivating a non attachment to your thoughts and thinking. Witness your mind, by just being who you are. This mindfulness inevitably leads to self mastery.

Unfortunately you are masters at what you are doing, you have developed your life to such a mastery that you need no awareness at all to do the things that you are doing. You function on auto pliot, totally controlled by what has been conditioned into you, by what you have been programmed with.

And this is a great pity, as life was meant to be joy, joy and bliss and love everlasting!!! Yet you are wholly unaware of this. What you think is in total confrontation with what you want or what you do, and so you feel guilty and do more of it. You are so miserable, deep down inside, you innermost core has been so defiled, that you need more and more to remain unconscious. You are so miserable because you are completely unconscious of what you are doing, of how and what you are thinking, and especially of what you are feeling. Every moment is a colossal contradiction, as you want one thing yet think, do and say another. You are falling apart, and you know this, you are fragmented into millions of pieces, and you sense this. So another escapism is needed.and then another. And another.
Anything just to numb your senses for a while, to distract you again from what is really bothering you. You tell yourself that straight after you have had another cigarette, or one more slice of cake, or watch just one more tv show, yes right after that, you shall devote yourself to thinking about your problem and solving it. But that never happens. Because when you`re done, you just find another excuse, and then you promise yourself that tomorrow surely you shall think about what is wrong in your life. And then that doesn`t happen either, for Lord Procrastination rules your life. He promises and promises, hope lies just around the corner, if you just do this or that…then I swear, I promise we will deal with what is really wrong…but that never happens. Why do we procrastinate so?
Most people aren’t even aware that they are doing it. Yet we all do it. I guess its easier, it’s the lazy man`s way of dealing with issues, it certainly is the more comfortable route to take. The only way out of it is total and complete honesty. Firstly admitting that you are doing it and secondly total honesty with yourself.

Ask yourself what am I running away from and why am I afraid? Usually the answer is- I am afraid that I am not loved, wanted, acknowledged or that I am not good enough, guilty and ashamed. The core issue is always one of these if you dig deep enough. Ask yourself why you are shoving stuff off for later and the answer is fear. You are afraid. But of what? And why? And what for? Have you ever asked yourself that?

Why is it that we only grow and mature and are willing to change if we are forced to go through a crisis? I urge you to take your life into your hands now and not to wait until a catastrophe in your life forces you to do so. Become aware of what you are doing and change it now! Suffering and pain are an illusion, a trick of the mind, a justification for attacking your akushla. You can suffer only if you permit circumstances outside yourself to affect you. You cannot blame anyone for your suffering, but yourself. Self acceptance immediately excludes pain and suffering. Without forcing or expecting an outcome, being totally detatched, pain and suffering vanish. You suffer because you expect it. You hurt because you don’t understand pain. Suffering is unawareness.

How can you become more aware? Be mindful of what you think and feel at all times. Do not be attached to any outcome, just be aware. Everything is just as it is. Become fully alert and fully conscious just as you are. Be a witness to your mind, free of fear or the restrictions of the ego, just be. Pure beingness. Thoughts will come up in your mind with a vehemence. Don’t push them away. Don’t resist them. Just be. Be a witness to everything that is at all times. How else can you change your life?

Meditation is a great way to start being more aware. The major difference between the form of concentration meditation and the mindfulness form of meditating is that in concentration you focus on content, while in mindfulness it is not about the content of your focus, but about the quality or level of your focus, or awareness itself. Mindfulness meditation is a way to raise your level of awareness, of consciousness immediately, without having to deal with and become involved in the infinite possibilities of content.

Being aware of the problems in your life and why they are there, Is the only way of solving them. How can you change something if you are not even aware of it? In total awareness you heal your life, without judgement, sin, guilt or shame. With complete alertness you are a witness to your life. In deep silence you understand its very meaning. Clarity, bliss and ecsatcy are the natural outcome. Remain conscious and do not let yourself be influenced by fear from without. Be a witness to your thought process and your belief systems, and in this you will become aware of yourself as pure consciousness. I am that I am. Be in the world, but not of the world. Do not let yourself be affected by outer circumstances, but you be the cause of outer circumstances. Just be mindful of what happens in your life, and why, in this way you will make the shift from unconsciousness to consciousness, from illusion to truth, from fear to love. In this state you are no longer distracted left, right and center by anything and everything in life. Dramas, conflicts, arguments, scenes and issues have no effect on your peace of mind. After all how can the eternal ever be questioned??? Situations will no longer activate your personal garbage of thoughts, emotions and other impressions and yet you are there, present; fully conscious as you reside in your centre of consciousness.

Who are you?

Who am I?

Who am I?

Who am I?


Have you ever asked yourself this?
You are pure consciousness, unconditional love and light, sacredness and holiness divine. You are man. You are not your body. Neither am I. I am that I am, how can I be anything else? I am consciousness that will exist forever more, long after the death of my body. I exist forever with or without form, in any substance, time or space. I am that I am. I am awareness, in which I am creating a physical expression for myself to experience what I desire. I am a dream within my awareness, I am a part of the whole, I am the divine. I am that I am, and that is immortal. I am a child of my creator, my creator created me, and so I am a part of him, from whence I came. I am the absolute, I am the beginning and the end, the alpha and the omega. I am that I am.

I am creating a world in my dream, a world for me to frolick and play and learn and experience, a world which lives exclusively in my mind. I am infinite, I am my higher self. I am made from unconditional love and so I am unlimited in power, ability and potential. I am never alone for I am part of the whole. I am truth, I am silence, I am pure beingness, how can I be challenged? I am all that there is, I am man! I am without boundaries, I am emptiness. I am witness to my real self, I am the realization of myself. I am not my body, but I live in it temporaily. I am an immortal soul. I am the essence of love. I am part of the mind of God. I am the core of my being. I am powerful. I am love. I am pure life force. I am that I am.

I am, that I am.

I am energy, I am the interconnected web of life. Indeed, I am WE. Like a drop in the vast ocean, I am the ocean itself. I am pure existence, I am intent, I am will. I am an individuation of the divine, yet I am emptiness and thoughtlessness. I am free. I am awareness. I am no-thing. I am creation, as above so below. I am life.





It is by virtue of your beliefs alone that you perceive the world the way you do. The reason we have a problem may have many many causes. For determing the reason of any problem take the following into consideration- your cotract, your karma, your thoughts,feelings and beliefs, your ideas about life, your reactions, level of awareness, type of dis eases, lessons to be learnt, amount of fear in life etc. You cannot blame any problem on one cause, for each thing there can be many many causes. Do not seek to blame anyone else for the state that your life is in but yourself. You are responsible for your life, just as you are responsible for the whole, or you would not even be here.

The whole idea of life is to live it in pure awareness, deep peace, nothing-ness and emptiness. To have bliss and ecstacy and joy and love. To experience total freedom, free from all boundaries and limitations. Your mind should be in a state of constant bliss and joy. You are to be spontaneous, creative and loving, an expansive awakening of your true being. Total and true happiness.

I am that I am

When confronted with any conflict, be it conflict with yourself or with another, just remember you are what you are and nothing can ever change that!

If you are in a situation that endangers your peace of mind, remember that the way you react to any given situation will determine its final outcome.

You, and you alone are responsible for your life. You are the soul author of your life, and you cannot claim he or she did that to me. Doing so, just keeps you stuck in the problem. We all have a story and we all have problems. Mostly we react to any given problem by attacking it, not seeing that we are one with all and not understanding that each situation harbours in it a huge potential for growth and enlightenment.

No one does anything to you nor can anyone hurt you unless you give them the power to do so. No situation is ever hopeless. No problem is unsolvable. Everyone is doing the best with the wisdom and knowledge they have at the time, just as you are, if they had known better they probably would not have acted in such a way.

Each problem is a gift, that you can rise triumphantly above, setting yourself and the other free from guilt and fear and sin as you do so. Do not give your power away to anything or anyone.

Most people dont understand that what they do to each other, they invariably do to themselves. This is the direct cause for all problems and conflict, the idea of separation. All thought will return to its source, and because we see ourselves separated from everyone else, its easy to blame another for our misfortune, yet this only drives us deeper into misery. Knowing that you are who you are at all times, knowing that no matter what happens outside you, it will never ever change who you are!

I am a lonesome traveller
a creature of the miles
i have made my way in solitude
in my own ragged style.

I have chased the secrets across the earth
the mountains and the seas
i have fallen and i have gotten up
stumbling into ecsatcy.

I climbed the tower made of light
to see what heaven sees
where the angels in their flight
stopped a while and spoke to me.

Aquainted with the underworld
it was there, after i fell
i rode upon the devils back
through all the provinces of hell.

The worlds I have seen
and kingdoms green
all rise and fall
inside a dream.

I sat in council with the sun
upon the shores of time
drinking in the poetry
he poured out like golden wine.

But dont let my rhymes trouble you
take comfort in your days
i ll soon be passing like the wind
and you ll forget all that i say.

The ages turn
we cry to learn
the divine flame
inside us burns.

When Buddha was a traveller
with just a begging bowl
no one could ever beg or steal
what he had discovered in his soul!

The wheel turns
we die to learn
the divine flame
inside us burns.

what for?

Last night I had a very interesting dream which I am complled to share with you. I feel that it speaks to every human being on earth.

I dreamt I sat in a classroom. This classroom was very large indeed, and each pupil had his own elaborate desk. The teacher walked into the room, and this was the very first lesson, to which we all assumed, obviously, that we had been admitted. The teacher however, handed us the most massive and intricate and difficult exam I had ever seen. He explained, that if we passed this exam, we could attend his class. This was very confusing, we thought admittance was automatic and no one had prepared. As we started, I saw that the first page was a sort of contract we had to sign, that said we would be giving him our minds. The rest of the exam was giberrish and utter nonsense. The others were trying as hard as possible to answer the questions. I read a few more minutes and exclaimed out loud- this is utter rubbish. Its nonsense, and I aint signing my mind away!!! You can take your classes and stick em up where the sun dont shine. I stood up to leave.

The teacher, estatic and jumping about in the air, said to me- You are a genius, you have passed the exam!!! You have done it, and in such a short time, you have awoken! Praise the light!

He touched me on my shoulder and said- you have understood that you cannot give your mind and power away, without falling hopelessly asleep. And that most of what you do, is utter nonsense! Everytime you do something, think something, say something, ask yourself what am I doing this for? Who is my thought, action and deed benefitting? What for? What for? Am I doing or thinking this to my benefit or to the benefit of my ego? People just go ahead and do things without even thinking. Am I thinking this for the benefit of my higher divine self, the me of me s, or for darkness, evil or the ego? What for? What for? Ask yourself the right questions, and dont do anything before questioning it.

The most important question you can ask yourself is What for?

change your perceptions and you change your life

Shit happens.....thats just a fact of life.
We all have a story, we all have our hurts and aches and pains and dramas. So I am not going to bore you with mine...

Most people get stuck though, on victim mode, pointing their fingers at someone else accusingly. She did it to me, or I was molested, or I had a very bad childhood....become welcome excuses and sought after escapisms for most people.

I understood quite a while ago that I, and I alone am responsible for my life. But, when I had cancer and bells pallsy a couple of months ago I was kicked so hard in the butt by life, that I quite spontaneously understood that my joy and my peace of mind and my happiness is not ever dependant upon another. Why is it that we have to go through so much trouble and pain until we finally learn???

Being so sick made me realise how precious life is and how much I had taken completely for granted. You know, I had been getting upset left, right and centre at the slightest provocation. If anyone had an argument with me, or I saw some disturbing news on TV, or I had a fight, someone critisized me...or whatever turmoil....whooosh....gone was my peace of mind. And then I finally understood, applause please, that my peace of mind is not dependant upon others. That the only person responsible for my happiness was me. Regardless of what seemed to be happening in my life, no matter what outer circumstances I appeared to find myself in..none of it mattered. It didnt change one bit who I was. That is unless I give it the power to do so.

Then I finally saw that nothing in life has a meaning save what we attach to it. It made life much easier for me. When something happens, a huge bill arrives in the post, a fight, a car crash, a disease whatever, you are still who you are and nothing can ever change that. Now we can either go into full blown victim mode and give all our power away, or we can take the situation and triumph joyously over it. I chose the latter, it makes my life so much more precious and loving.

So now, whenever something goes wrong, I remind myself this is just an illusion, you dont really know why this is happening so no reason to go frantic about it. I am that I am. And such joy life then becomes. It gives you so much space to cultivate other things, like compassion instead of impatience and love instead of fear and joy instead of depression.

Life is so precious, dont wait until you are forced to change by getting really sick like me! Stop squabbling and moping and whining and argumenting about such petty things, they are so useless. Use time creatively instead. Like telling yourself right now how precious you are and that for that reason alone you will work hard at living the most loving, joyous, prosperous and abundant life you can! Dont wait until its too late!